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Are you a whore for hormones? Let the Carnal Consultant tell you how to take it like a man.

Monday Nov 17, 2008.     By Anna Pulley

Dating Feed

DO "T" SHOTS HELP AN OLD MAN'S LIBIDo?

~sam

Another sam! I love it. It's as if this question were pumped full of testosterone until that last somber letter, when you quietly, yet bravely, admitted defeat. Fear not, sam, for I will address this question with the force of a dozen Mr. Universe contestants all lifting VW Bugs over their heads at the same time.

Low testosterone is a common problem in men over 40. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration estimates that four to five million American men suffer from low testosterone, but only about five percent receive treatment. The average male loses one percent of his testosterone per year.

Some of the symptoms of low testosterone (also called andropause) include: lack of energy, depression, decreased work and sports performance, falling asleep after dinner, muscle loss, weak erections, low libido and listening to Suze Orman on tape. But just as a cat shouldn't lick its own ass just because it can, this doesn't mean you should go shooting up whenever you feel like it. National Institutes of Health studies have found that the safety of testosterone injections (which also come in patch or cream form) is inconclusive. So while you may feel happier, healthier and more virile with T supplements, you might later die of prostate cancer. But you very well might die from a number of other things as well, depending on how often you try to compensate for your low testosterone by hunting sharks with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Another study by the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that men with too much testosterone were more likely to drink, smoke, fight and injure themselves, possibly while drinking, smoking and fighting. There are, of course, natural ways to boost one's testosterone and they include the tiresome prescription of moderate exercise, protein, healthy fats and green, leafy vegetables. But who has time for such things when happiness is just a rubber-strap away?

The balls are in your court, sam.

Anna Pulley, our Carnal Consultant, has been on more bad dates than J. Lo's been to divorce court. She's been a one-date wonder and Wonder Woman. She's bi, and no she doesn't want to sleep with your boyfriend, thanks. When she's not giving advice, she enjoys theme parties for every and any occasion and working as a Carnal Consultant for Early to Bed. Buy her a drink or ask her a question already.